Sunday, October 9, 2011

Pressure of growing up.

There has been sooo much going on my life I dont even know where to start. I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I need to know where I am headed and what I need to do and be. Meaning I feel like I'm getting older, I don't know who I'm going to marry, or if im ever going to find someone, which is AGONIZING. I'm coming to realize to not sweat the small stuff, Typical for anyone my age i know, in my case I have matured soooo much this past year with various experiences that are way tooo personal to post. I used to be a vulnerable girl that was AFRAID to stand up for what she believes in. Well guess what, the true me has come out and I'm stronger than EVER. Brings me to my next topic, my different aspirations/ passions in life.

I had developed many loves/ passions in life. First I took a shot at singing, i've been singing ever since I was young, I auditioned for a show, didnt make it into the show, but that was a great learning experience. Secondly, I LOVE everything beauty. I am intrigued by anything & anything that has to do with makeup. I can't help but gaze & observe other people's makeup I just naturally do it. As you might know or not know I do youtube videos which is my outlet to that passion. No one around me understands how much I love it, its my outlet where I can be creative & not to mention its soo relaxing to do. I always get the "Oh, I love your makeup!, Teach me one day, you should work at Mac/Sephora,etc etc" My point is that I'm going after that passion of mine and Im hoping for a great outcome. Ultimately, I would love to free lance one day and be a makeup artist.

I don't know about anyone else out there... but WHY is it that being a "quiet" person such a bad thing?!? Is it like a curse ,not it isn't. take a look at your fingers no fingers are the same on your hand, same with humans.  I have always been a quiet person, yes naturally i am just on the shy side. I ALWAYS have & WILL be.  I am a listener rather than a talker. I personally don't think there is anything wrong with that at all. I'm not sure why this is such a big deal to everyone else/society. Its always been "pet peeve" for me. I hate hearing... "Yvette, why are you so quiet!" " etc etc Seriously... SOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING. I'm not the girl who's always looking to be in the center of attention.. like please listen to my amazing story you guys(Look at me, look at me, I'm soooo special). I'm pretty sure you would never say to someone... "Jeez, why are you so loud and obnoxious" or "wow, you finally shut your mouth up!"

I guess that's why shy people think they have such a personality flaw or much worse something is wrong with them.. I have always felt dumb for being quiet.. I just did. And its ONLY because people make such a big deal out of it. I LOVE having conversations, and i like talking to people believe it or not. But when I'm in HUGE groups of people... i prefer to stand there and observe everything... I DON'T understand what is wrong with that.

I guess I'm just tired of feeling judged for being the person that I am. I AM who I AM but I hate how people bring that topic up, I AM judged because people say things about it all the time. What is the big freakin deal?!!!!!. Am I alien or something, no. I always open up to people that I feel comfortable with & who I "click" with.

Maybe the reason I don't open up to you is because I'm not comfortable around you.. or maybe YOUR personality doesn't make me comfortable ultimately that's you,,,,,,,,but I'm not sitting here judging you about it.